Words. Stinky, stinky, words.

There's a time and place for literary fiction, and there's a time and place for escapist fiction. I won't even call it a "guilty pleasure." I enjoy mysteries and thrillers.

Readable ones, anyway.

A smattering of authors in these genres I wholeheartedly endorse:

• Michael Connelly
• Tess Gerritsen
• Johnathan Kellerman
• James Patterson

What do their books have in common? Good plots and characters, and prose that (at the very worst) isn't awful to the point of distraction.

And then there's Iris Johansen. Compared to her writing, the ingredients label on a bottle of Pert Plus is on the short list for the Nobel Prize for literature. That's right, I'd rather read the a bottle of shampoo. Seriously, it's just that bad. Excuse me while I gouge my eyes out with the spine from "A Prayer for Owen Meany".

That's better. Sweet, blessed release of blindness...